Practical Procrastination Techniques #3 – Research Random Things on the Internet

Because, hey, you never know when a clever turn of phrase, an insignificant fact, or a fleeting moment of genius could help you out of a tight situation. Like an awkward silence at an industry networking party, for instance!

As poet Bernadette Mayer says, if it’s not writing, it’s research.

~  ~  ~

A friend of mine’s facebook status stated that she might be Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic. Since I absolutely have to know what every word I run across means, I dutifully looked it up (see Practical Procrastination Techniques #2). It means fear of the number 666 (fear that it is related to satan and the anti-christ).

Well, me being the cheeky monkey that I am (and not even stopping to consider that this may be a serious phobia of hers), I attempted to cure her ailment with a bit of Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic humour. I found most of these online HERE (I didn’t make these up, I stole them with glee).

670 Approximated Number of the Beast

DCLXVI Roman Numeral of the Beast

333 Number of the Semi-Beast

66 Number of the Downsized Beast

0.666 Number of the Millibeast

-666 Opposite of the Beast

25.8069758… Square Root of the Beast

1010011010 Binary Number of the Beast

00666 Zip Code of the Beast

www.666.com Website of the Beast

1-666-666-6666 Phone or FAX Number of the Beast

(1-888-666-6666 Toll Free Number of the Beast)

1-900-666-6666 Live Beasts, available now! One-on-one pacts! Only $6.66 per minute! [Must be over 18!]

666-66-6666 Social Security Number of the Beast

Form 10666 Special IRS Tax Form for the Beast

66.6% Tax Rate of the Beast

6.66% 6-Year CD Interest Rate at First Beast Bank of Hell ($666 minimum deposit, $666 early withdrawal fee)

$665.95 Retail Price of the Beast

$769.95 Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul

$656.66 Wal-Mart Price of the Beast (next week $646.66!)

$55.50 Monthly Payments for Beast, in 12 easy installments

666o F Oven Temperature for Cooking “Roast Beast”

666 mg Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast

Word 6.66 Word Processor of the Beast

#666666 Font Color of the Beast (the gray in this table!)

IAM 666 License Plate Number of the Beast

66.6 MHz FM Radio Station of the Beast

666 KHz AM Radio Station of the Beast

okay, now, back to work!

6 Comments

  1. authorwillow
    Jul 24, 2010

    Okay, made me laugh!

  2. Julia Smith
    Jul 24, 2010

    LOL! I often get Social Insurance Numbers at work when I’m scanning, that – believe it or not – are often attached to problem files. Must suck to have 666 in your SIN number.

    This one really made me laugh:

    ‘$769.95 Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul

    $656.66 Wal-Mart Price of the Beast (next week $646.66!)’

  3. @Julia – yeah, I liked that one, too.

    @Willow – thanks for stopping by!

  4. C. Lee McKenzie
    Jul 28, 2010

    Is the Roast Beast recipe an old family one? I’ve been waiting for this a long time. Now I can start the defrost process. BTW do you have a stuffing recipe?

    Totally enjoyed my visit.

  5. Hi Lee! Thanks for popping over.

    Yes, it’s a traditional family recipe, however I don’t eat meat so I’ve created a soy-based beast. Good for BBQ, too.

  6. Suma
    Aug 1, 2010

    So hilarious Danika. Loved that you had a Walmart price too!

    Best,
    Suma.

(NOTE: Internet Explorer does not play nice with my comments if you are logged into Wordpress)