Archived Blog

I haven’t posted in my blog for over four months, which I’m sure is a new record. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, it’s not that I haven’t started draft after draft… it’s that every time I sat down at my computer to work on a post, what I wanted to write seemed insignificant compared to what’s happening in our world. It seemed unimportant in the scheme of things. How could I, with my little creative writing corner of the internet, face up to the grand global disappointments or another unsympathetic executive order or further descent into madness.

As the EPA was gutted, climate science denied, school and health programs endangered, I sank deeper and deeper into the mindset of, “What I do doesn’t really matter.” How could being a children’s author matter when the ice caps are melting. I felt paralyzed from writing a post while the U.S. headed backwards in terms of environmental protection and new policies (or undoing of old ones) threatened the most vulnerable of us – the displaced, the young, the elderly, the ill, those less fortunate in whatever way.

A few months ago I was riding on my enthusiasm after the Women’s March when I ran into a neighbour enjoying the sunshine. She could tell that I was all riled up on righteousness and feminism, and I began to get riled up about her NOT being as riled up as I was.

I said, “Don’t you feel the need to DO something?”

She said, “I am. I’m holding the space for healing and meditating on peace.”

I was aghast. This was no time to take the quiet road, this was a time to speak up and take REAL action and make some REAL noise.

“I don’t think that’s enough,” I said.

“It’s what I can do,” she said. “It’s all I have the energy to do.”

The Buddhist tenant “Do no harm” came to mind. It’s a simple, but strangely radical idea, and difficult for any human to follow. But it’s a place to start. I thought about how our world would look if we all practiced doing no harm. If we managed to raise human consciousness with a wave of doing no harmness. And then maybe we could go beyond that to the undoing of done harms.

You may be an activist and think that my neighbour isn’t really doing anything close to enough. But I’ve sat with this for a while, and after long discussions and getting to know each other better, I’ve learned that her role in this world is to be of service to others. And truly, if each person on the planet saw their purpose as being of service to others, we’d have a tremendous cycle of love and support and mutual respect. And truly, no matter WHAT we do for a living, we can always be of service to others in the doing of it. We can always work from the space of love and support whether we are accountants, police officers, plumbers, or writers.

I finally came out of my stupor with the realization that my work is also one of service, and my life one of trying my best to “do no harm,” working toward that higher consciousness. If this is what I know I’m meant to do, then in the loving of doing it, aren’t I passing my love onto others? Aren’t I, too, holding the space of healing through creativity? Through teaching? Isn’t that enough?

I’m not saying that I won’t make phone calls or march or donate money or practice recycling or vote or stand up when necessary… it’s just that I don’t have to be that all the time. I don’t have to make it a career choice.

This blog was never meant to be political. I reminded myself of that. This blog was meant for writers, students, teachers, lovers of writing, lovers of creativity. It was meant to be a service to those looking for inspiration, support, connection, and community. In my non-political hours, THIS is what feeds me, which in turn, I hope, feeds others. This is how I express my love in the world whether it’s a blog post, a classroom visit, or a story editing gig.

So go out and do what you love, love what you do, and make it an act of service.  However small that may seem, it matters.

~     ~     ~

YOUR WORKOUT

TIMED WRITING GUIDELINES

Set your timer for 7 – 15 minutes per start line
(I usually increase the time with each start line: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min …)
When timer starts: write, don’t stop, don’t edit, don’t cross out.

PICK FROM ANY OF THE BELOW START LINES

(use any character, doesn’t have to be your protagonist)

MY CHARACTER feels hopeless / overwhelmed by the world when…

MY CHARACTER feels insignificant because…

MY CHARACTER inadvertently harms others when…

MY CHARACTER can only redeem themselves once they…

MY CHARACTER’s acts of service come in the form of…

MY CHARACTER acts from a space of love when…

Now write!

(NOTE: I will be holding another 50 First Lines Contest in the next few weeks (prize TBD). If you’ve never participated before, go HERE. I held one a few years ago and it was a hoot.)

“Our lived lives might become a protracted mourning for, or an endless tantrum about, the lives we were unable to live. But the exemptions we suffer, whether forced or chosen, make us who we are.” ~ Adam Phillips*

When I was growing up, there was a Life Saver’s commercial featuring a little girl watching the sunset with her father and just after the sun slips down past the horizon, she whispers, “Do it again, Daddy.” I’ve always loved that commercial. I easily placed myself under that tree at sunset with my own Dad, who I believed knew everything.

I hadn’t thought about that commercial for many years until after my father died. I was brushing my teeth when a vision popped into my head of myself on my own death bed, my father waiting for me on the other side, feeling an immense joy in having experienced the wonderful roller coaster of my human life. In my vision I turned to him and asked, “Do it again, Daddy.” As if he could control not only the earth and stars, but restart life itself.

One of the most painful things to me at the time of my father’s death was viewing all his unfinished business splayed around his office. Projects half finished, goals uncompleted, life interrupted and cut off. I started to want my own life back for all the things I hadn’t done or would do differently or to make up for all the times I had held myself back.

My personal jury is out on reincarnation. I don’t not believe in it; I’m open to the possibility. But I’m more inclined to believe in things like cellular memory, or ponder how the air I breathe was also breathed by Neanderthals or that we’re all made of the same star dust. I’m more inclined to see the interconnectedness of all things or that all of life happens all at once.

Life feels too short at times, and time has gotten slippery as I’ve grown older. I’ve written several times about how, on his death bed, my father turned to me in a sudden lucid moment and said, From a baby to an old man is three days. I’ve divided those days and if what my Father says is true, and the years are merely days, then the months must be hours, the weeks minutes, and each earth rotation a second.

With so little time to live, I grew determined to fill my life up with doing, achieving, joining. I created a pressure to get things done and not leave anything unfinished, even though my own father happily spent so much of his time alone in his garden and greenhouse. It has only been in the past few years that I’ve discovered the secret to having more of life is doing less and being more.

I used to wonder how older people could just sit around and watch grass grow. Hours on park benches, hours on porches, hours in the garden. But now I, too, find myself pulled in the direction of stillness and silence. Instead of filling myself up with things to do, I feel the need to retreat and enjoy and let go of what used to simply feed my ego and my time.

This doesn’t mean NOT participating in the world, it’s just another way to participate. One that allows, at least for me, a way to cherish and appreciate what is. Living in each now moment has opened me up to magical connection and synchronicity. And living in process (rather than product) and community with creativity, whether it’s writing, communicating, observing, or simply breathing allows, ironically, for more fullness, not less.

*FURTHER READING: In Praise of Missing Out

YOUR WRITING WORKOUT**

Where has your character lost touch with the “now”? When does ze obsess about the past or worry about the future? Where does ze try to fill in the silence for fear of missing out?

TIMED WRITING GUIDELINES

Set your timer for 7 -15 minutes per start line 
(I sometimes increase the time with each start line: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min …). 
When timer starts: write, don’t stop, don’t edit, don’t cross out.

PICK FROM ANY OF THE BELOW START LINES

My Character feels disconnected from the world because …

The first/last time my Character felt connected to the world was when …

My Character over-worries about …

My Character fears ze will never achieve …

My Character regrets that ze …

When my Character slows down, ze discovers …

Happy writing!

**I decided to use gender neutral pronouns in my workouts from now on. I was tired of writing “he or she” and “him or her” or alternating… plus I was leaving out my gender queer friends or anyone who has a gender neutral character. My preference is “ze/zir.”

https://genderneutralpronoun.wordpress.com/

A few weeks ago I attended an art gallery opening for queer artists. I started chatting with a lovely, quirky woman about upcoming events for our local Pride Week. As we then talked about where we were from and the kinds of things I taught, she awkwardly fished for something else, but I wasn’t sure what she was getting at. Finally, she got flustered and said, “I’m trying to ask if you’re queer, but you’re obviously not, because you’re not picking up on any of the language.”

“I don’t know the secret handshake either,” I deadpanned.

She laughed and offered to demonstrate.

She had caught me off guard. The thing was, neither “yes” nor “no” felt like the right answer. Neither would have been sufficient in expressing my personal journey nor revealing the truth of who I am.

I answered her question:

I’ve always been just me. And I’ve always believed everyone else is just who they are. I’ve loved all kinds of people, but I don’t label myself anything. I’ve tried; it’s never felt comfortable. And I can’t speak for anyone but myself.

As soon as I am categorized, people will assume things about me. I’ll even assume things about myself. Or I’ll try to shape myself into what others think people “like me” are supposed to be.

I don’t think humans exist in binary systems. Each of us lives on multitudes of continuums. Humans are complex and individualized and we assume so much about each other. I’d much rather meet each person as an individual, listen to their stories, and let them surprise me with who they are.

By the expression on her face, I thought I had pissed her off. Then she shook her head into a laugh and said, “If everyone thought that way, the world would be a better place.”

She handed me a flyer for the Pride Picnic.

I like watching birds and the sky, playing the drums, art galleries, dragons and jellyfish, clever rhymed couplets, and Doctor Who. That doesn’t tell you anything about my sexual orientation, my race, gender or religion. It just tells you that if you like watching the birds and the sky, playing the drums, art galleries, dragons and jellyfish, clever rhymed couples, and Doctor Who we probably have something to talk about.

And even if you don’t like any of those things, isn’t it our differences that keep life interesting?

~     ~     ~

YOUR WRITING WORKOUT*

Who does your character assume things about and why? What does that character assume about zir? How does this create conflict between them?

TIMED WRITING GUIDELINES

Set your timer for 7 -15 minutes per start line 
(I sometimes increase the time with each start line: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min …). 
When timer starts: write, don’t stop, don’t edit, don’t cross out.

PICK FROM ANY OF THE BELOW START LINES

When Character A meets Character B ze assumes . . .

When Character B meets Character A ze assumes . . .

Character A is afraid Character B will . . .

Character B is afraid Character A will . . .

Their assumptions create problems when . . .

Character A surprises Character B by . . .

Character B surprises Character A by . . .

Happy writing!

*I decided to use gender neutral pronouns in my workouts from now on. I was tired of writing “he or she” and “him or her” or alternating… plus I was leaving out my gender queer friends or anyone who has a gender neutral character. My preference is “ze/zir.”

Learn more and join the discussion on gender neutral pronouns