Danika Dinsmore

Author / Educator / Activist

truth and beauty

Right to Speak

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~   ~   ~

I really dislike the term “thick skinned.” As in…

“Ya gotta be thick-skinned, Danika, to be able to take the slings and arrows of life.”

I have an idea. Why don’t people just stop slinging and arrowing?

This is truly the age of the bully, as social media has given bullies megaphones and permission to use them. To put yourself out there risks a world of complete strangers turning against you. It can be a nasty, nasty place online.

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(image by Michael V. Manalo)

There’s a 2015 TED talk by Monica Lewinsky called The Price of Shame. My immediate reaction when I first came across it was why would I want to hear THAT woman’s story? I watched it anyway, and I encourage you to do the same, because my reaction was the whole point. Monica was basically the first public figure to be brutally bullied on the internet. She was “Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.” Her talk was honest and moving. I realized I had formed opinions about a woman I really knew nothing about, and that the words I associated with her had been echoes of bully voices.

The public’s response to her talk (17 YEARS after the events) was horrifying. And, sadly, unsurprising. (The good news is that TED aggressively monitored the personal attacks and removed them to make way for the growing support for Monica)

But still… I don’t want to be thick-skinned. It indicates a barrier between myself and others. It indicates a stiffness, a lack of intimacy, a shell. It indicates I’m expecting to be slung and arrowed by others, who then in turn don’t trust me back. When I come across someone with that kind of hard exterior, it’s palpable. I really don’t want to shell myself off, especially since I’ve been told by others that it’s my open heart and encouraging spirit that inspires them.

Instead of a “thick skin” I’d much rather repel all that dung with a beam of light that penetrates other people’s shells. Not so easy, mind you, but I practice.

And I see that other people are practicing using their beams of light, too. I see a turning of the tide because people are done with bullies. It seems the bullies of the world are being smoked out like bees (apologies, bees, for the comparison). When one bully rears its head, it’s getting overwhelmed by a wave of new consciousness and strength. A tipping point of We’re not going to take this any more. Hence all the hash-tagged movements like #nomore and #neveragain gaining momentum.

Yes, the bullies of the world are being smoked out because the same megaphone they yield as a weapon is a tool for the rest of us to find each other. And organize…

Imagine at school one day a gunman starts shooting up your friends. Imagine that terror and heartbreak. Imagine demanding something be done when this has happened over and over again in your country for years. Imagine being afraid to go to school not because you didn’t study for the French test, but because you’re afraid you’re going to be shot and killed? Imagine demanding that your school not be a place to be afraid of.

Imagine, then, a candidate for the House of Representatives calling you a “skinhead lesbian” for speaking out? What kind of world had we created in which this politician thought that would be acceptable? Luckily, one that decided it wasn’t.

I don’t think Emma Gonzalez is necessarily “thick skinned.” From videos and photos of her, she seems wonderfully vulnerable. But she’s speaking anyway, because she knows she must. Fortunately, when the bullies appeared she was defended by a larger wave (and that bully candidate withdrew). This is happening right now. People are standing up and we’re standing up with them. We won’t all be Emma Gonzales, but at least we can be part of the wave.

~     ~     ~

I’ve been thinking lately about how we as individuals can’t do everything, but we’ve definitely got to do something. We are about to see what we’re really made of as the old paradigms fight to stay alive. It’s overwhelming all the things that need to be done in terms of environmental and social justice, so my new motto is: pick something. Pick your cause. Pick one thing be it local, regional, national, international… pick something to stand up for. Because the more we stand up, and stand up together, the stronger we as individuals and as communities will be. Take a stand even if it’s just to tell someone you won’t listen to their vitriol, that it’s wrong to attack people personally, that we must be kinder to each other.

And don’t worry that people will be upset because you’re not focusing on their cause or feel guilty for not being focused or knowing about their cause.

We can’t do everything, but we’ve got to do something.

I’m going on a book tour next month, and I’ve been invited to give a talk about writers and responsibility. My heart and throat chakras clinch when I think about it. “Who are you to talk about this?” I ask myself. “What do YOU know.”

That, my friends, is the voice of the bully. And my voice will be a repelling light.

YOUR WORKOUT

In your story, what is your character afraid to speak up about? How to they not stand up for themselves in the world? Who do they allow to bully them? Do they witness someone bullying others? It is often easier to stand up for others than ourselves.

Write these timed exercises without stopping, crossing out, or editing.
Just go on your gut and keep writing.

1) SET YOUR TIMER for 5-7 minutes.

Start with the line:

The place in my character’s body that tightens up when they are afraid to speak is…

2) SET YOUR TIMER for 7-10 minutes.

Start with the line:

The moment when my character’s inaction has built up a pressure they can no longer contain happens when…

3) SET YOUR TIMER for 10-12 minutes.

Start with the line:

The world around my character embraces their stance by…

 

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Doing the Love is Enough

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I haven’t posted in my blog for over four months, which I’m sure is a new record. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, it’s not that I haven’t started draft after draft… it’s that every time I sat down at my computer to work on a post, what I wanted to write seemed insignificant compared to what’s happening in our world. It seemed unimportant in the scheme of things. How could I, with my little creative writing corner of the internet, face up to the grand global disappointments or another unsympathetic executive order or further descent into madness.

As the EPA was gutted, climate science denied, school and health programs endangered, I sank deeper and deeper into the mindset of, “What I do doesn’t really matter.” How could being a children’s author matter when the ice caps are melting. I felt paralyzed from writing a post while the U.S. headed backwards in terms of environmental protection and new policies (or undoing of old ones) threatened the most vulnerable of us – the displaced, the young, the elderly, the ill, those less fortunate in whatever way.

A few months ago I was riding on my enthusiasm after the Women’s March when I ran into a neighbour enjoying the sunshine. She could tell that I was all riled up on righteousness and feminism, and I began to get riled up about her NOT being as riled up as I was.

I said, “Don’t you feel the need to DO something?”

She said, “I am. I’m holding the space for healing and meditating on peace.”

I was aghast. This was no time to take the quiet road, this was a time to speak up and take REAL action and make some REAL noise.

“I don’t think that’s enough,” I said.

“It’s what I can do,” she said. “It’s all I have the energy to do.”

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artwork by Rashin Kheiriyeh

The Buddhist tenant “Do no harm” came to mind. It’s a simple, but strangely radical idea, and difficult for any human to follow. But it’s a place to start. I thought about how our world would look if we all practiced doing no harm. If we managed to raise human consciousness with a wave of doing no harmness. And then maybe we could go beyond that to the undoing of done harms.

You may be an activist and think that my neighbour isn’t really doing anything close to enough. But I’ve sat with this for a while, and after long discussions and getting to know each other better, I’ve learned that her role in this world is to be of service to others. And truly, if each person on the planet saw their purpose as being of service to others, we’d have a tremendous cycle of love and support and mutual respect. And truly, no matter WHAT we do for a living, we can always be of service to others in the doing of it. We can always work from the space of love and support whether we are accountants, police officers, plumbers, or writers.

I finally came out of my stupor with the realization that my work is also one of service, and my life one of trying my best to “do no harm,” working toward that higher consciousness. If this is what I know I’m meant to do, then in the loving of doing it, aren’t I passing my love onto others? Aren’t I, too, holding the space of healing through creativity? Through teaching? Isn’t that enough?

I’m not saying that I won’t make phone calls or march or donate money or practice recycling or vote or stand up when necessary… it’s just that I don’t have to be that all the time. I don’t have to make it a career choice.

This blog was never meant to be political. I reminded myself of that. This blog was meant for writers, students, teachers, lovers of writing, lovers of creativity. It was meant to be a service to those looking for inspiration, support, connection, and community. In my non-political hours, THIS is what feeds me, which in turn, I hope, feeds others. This is how I express my love in the world whether it’s a blog post, a classroom visit, or a story editing gig.

So go out and do what you love, love what you do, and make it an act of service.  However small that may seem, it matters.

~     ~     ~

YOUR WORKOUT

TIMED WRITING GUIDELINES

Set your timer for 7 – 15 minutes per start line
(I usually increase the time with each start line: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min …)
When timer starts: write, don’t stop, don’t edit, don’t cross out.

PICK FROM ANY OF THE BELOW START LINES

(use any character, doesn’t have to be your protagonist)

MY CHARACTER feels hopeless / overwhelmed by the world when…

MY CHARACTER feels insignificant because…

MY CHARACTER inadvertently harms others when…

MY CHARACTER can only redeem themselves once they…

MY CHARACTER’s acts of service come in the form of…

MY CHARACTER acts from a space of love when…

Now write!

(NOTE: I will be holding another 50 First Lines Contest in the next few weeks (prize TBD). If you’ve never participated before, go HERE. I held one a few years ago and it was a hoot.)

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Life Savers

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“Our lived lives might become a protracted mourning for, or an endless tantrum about, the lives we were unable to live. But the exemptions we suffer, whether forced or chosen, make us who we are.” ~ Adam Phillips*

When I was growing up, there was a Life Saver’s commercial featuring a little girl watching the sunset with her father and just after the sun slips down past the horizon, she whispers, “Do it again, Daddy.” I’ve always loved that commercial. I easily placed myself under that tree at sunset with my own Dad, who I believed knew everything.

I hadn’t thought about that commercial for many years until after my father died. I was brushing my teeth when a vision popped into my head of myself on my own death bed, my father waiting for me on the other side, feeling an immense joy in having experienced the wonderful roller coaster of my human life. In my vision I turned to him and asked, “Do it again, Daddy.” As if he could control not only the earth and stars, but restart life itself.

One of the most painful things to me at the time of my father’s death was viewing all his unfinished business splayed around his office. Projects half finished, goals uncompleted, life interrupted and cut off. I started to want my own life back for all the things I hadn’t done or would do differently or to make up for all the times I had held myself back.

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illustration by Gizem Vural

My personal jury is out on reincarnation. I don’t not believe in it; I’m open to the possibility. But I’m more inclined to believe in things like cellular memory, or ponder how the air I breathe was also breathed by Neanderthals or that we’re all made of the same star dust. I’m more inclined to see the interconnectedness of all things or that all of life happens all at once.

Life feels too short at times, and time has gotten slippery as I’ve grown older. I’ve written several times about how, on his death bed, my father turned to me in a sudden lucid moment and said, From a baby to an old man is three days. I’ve divided those days and if what my Father says is true, and the years are merely days, then the months must be hours, the weeks minutes, and each earth rotation a second.

With so little time to live, I grew determined to fill my life up with doing, achieving, joining. I created a pressure to get things done and not leave anything unfinished, even though my own father happily spent so much of his time alone in his garden and greenhouse. It has only been in the past few years that I’ve discovered the secret to having more of life is doing less and being more.

I used to wonder how older people could just sit around and watch grass grow. Hours on park benches, hours on porches, hours in the garden. But now I, too, find myself pulled in the direction of stillness and silence. Instead of filling myself up with things to do, I feel the need to retreat and enjoy and let go of what used to simply feed my ego and my time.

This doesn’t mean NOT participating in the world, it’s just another way to participate. One that allows, at least for me, a way to cherish and appreciate what is. Living in each now moment has opened me up to magical connection and synchronicity. And living in process (rather than product) and community with creativity, whether it’s writing, communicating, observing, or simply breathing allows, ironically, for more fullness, not less.

*FURTHER READING: In Praise of Missing Out

 

YOUR WRITING WORKOUT**

Where has your character lost touch with the “now”? When does ze obsess about the past or worry about the future? Where does ze try to fill in the silence for fear of missing out?

TIMED WRITING GUIDELINES

Set your timer for 7 -15 minutes per start line 
(I sometimes increase the time with each start line: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min …). 
When timer starts: write, don’t stop, don’t edit, don’t cross out.

PICK FROM ANY OF THE BELOW START LINES

My Character feels disconnected from the world because …

The first/last time my Character felt connected to the world was when …

My Character over-worries about …

My Character fears ze will never achieve …

My Character regrets that ze …

When my Character slows down, ze discovers …

Happy writing!

**I decided to use gender neutral pronouns in my workouts from now on. I was tired of writing “he or she” and “him or her” or alternating… plus I was leaving out my gender queer friends or anyone who has a gender neutral character. My preference is “ze/zir.”

https://genderneutralpronoun.wordpress.com/

 

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Queer as Folk

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A few weeks ago I attended an art gallery opening for queer artists. I started chatting with a lovely, quirky woman about upcoming events for our local Pride Week. As we then talked about where we were from and the kinds of things I taught, she awkwardly fished for something else, but I wasn’t sure what she was getting at. Finally, she got flustered and said, “I’m trying to ask if you’re queer, but you’re obviously not, because you’re not picking up on any of the language.”

“I don’t know the secret handshake either,” I deadpanned.

She laughed and offered to demonstrate.

She had caught me off guard. The thing was, neither “yes” nor “no” felt like the right answer. Neither would have been sufficient in expressing my personal journey nor revealing the truth of who I am.

I answered her question:

I’ve always been just me. And I’ve always believed everyone else is just who they are. I’ve loved all kinds of people, but I don’t label myself anything. I’ve tried; it’s never felt comfortable. And I can’t speak for anyone but myself.

As soon as I am categorized, people will assume things about me. I’ll even assume things about myself. Or I’ll try to shape myself into what others think people “like me” are supposed to be.

I don’t think humans exist in binary systems. Each of us lives on multitudes of continuums. Humans are complex and individualized and we assume so much about each other. I’d much rather meet each person as an individual, listen to their stories, and let them surprise me with who they are.

By the expression on her face, I thought I had pissed her off. Then she shook her head into a laugh and said, “If everyone thought that way, the world would be a better place.”

She handed me a flyer for the Pride Picnic.

I like watching birds and the sky, playing the drums, art galleries, dragons and jellyfish, clever rhymed couplets, and Doctor Who. That doesn’t tell you anything about my sexual orientation, my race, gender or religion. It just tells you that if you like watching the birds and the sky, playing the drums, art galleries, dragons and jellyfish, clever rhymed couples, and Doctor Who we probably have something to talk about.

And even if you don’t like any of those things, isn’t it our differences that keep life interesting?

~     ~     ~

YOUR WRITING WORKOUT*

Who does your character assume things about and why? What does that character assume about zir? How does this create conflict between them?

TIMED WRITING GUIDELINES

Set your timer for 7 -15 minutes per start line 
(I sometimes increase the time with each start line: 7 min, 10 min, 12 min …). 
When timer starts: write, don’t stop, don’t edit, don’t cross out.

PICK FROM ANY OF THE BELOW START LINES

When Character A meets Character B ze assumes . . .

When Character B meets Character A ze assumes . . .

Character A is afraid Character B will . . .

Character B is afraid Character A will . . .

Their assumptions create problems when . . .

Character A surprises Character B by . . .

Character B surprises Character A by . . .

Happy writing!

*I decided to use gender neutral pronouns in my workouts from now on. I was tired of writing “he or she” and “him or her” or alternating… plus I was leaving out my gender queer friends or anyone who has a gender neutral character. My preference is “ze/zir.”

Learn more and join the discussion on gender neutral pronouns

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The Art of Uplift (aka – Be a Star Among Stars)

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up*lift


verb
1. to lift up; raise; elevate.
2. to improve socially, morally, or the like.
3. to exalt emotionally or spiritually.
4. to become uplifted.

noun
5. an act of raising; elevation.
6. the process or work of improving, as socially, intellectually, or morally.
7. emotional or spiritual exaltation.

For the past few months I’ve been thinking about the ideas of UP and DOWN in terms of language, emotion, and physicality. When we are UP we are high, exalted (“closer to the heavens”), floating, light, standing tall, open. We love looking up – – to the sky, birds, clouds, sun, moon, future. When feeling liberated, joyous, elated we throw our arms up. We want to “reach for the stars” not “dig ourselves” anywhere.

When we are DOWN we are de-pressed (I picture a giant thumb pressing into me, squishing me like a bug), hiding, covered, bent, small. You’ve heard of the lowly worm.*

After my recent bout with depression (the extreme side of down), I decided that I didn’t want a giant thumb pressing into me and squishing me like a bug. I wanted a really powerful antidote for myself instead. I wanted to be uplifted.

The opposite of DOWN is UP!

I began to think about the small ways (especially habitual or subconscious) I sometimes de-pressed myself. And then I began to see that sometimes I de-pressed the people around me. Not because I’m mean, not because I’m malicious or vengeful, but because I’m human and sometimes I can’t see the light and sometimes I am afraid.

But what if, in the moment before I said something spiteful or petty or threw a piece of my pain back at someone, I practiced using uplifting words instead? What if I paused and thought of them as bright stars waiting to be released into the sky? And what if I kept coaxing those stars, inspiring those stars, championing those stars so that more and more and more were released and we lit up the entire sky?

I decided to try a little experiment. A few months ago, I inked the word UPLIFT on the inside of my cell phone cover, so that every time I opened the cover to make a call, text, email, tweet, or to use facebook it was a reminder to be impeccable with my word and to use language as a means of raising the spirits of the people around me.

It always makes me proud to love the world somehow –
hate’s so easy compared.

~Jack Kerouac

I made it a rule (the cell cover a constant reminder) that I had to always act or speak from this idea of being uplifting. And as I did, it started to dissolve my own self-negativity. The act of consciously UPLIFTING others on a regular basis helped me to get out of my own ego. It helped me to choose being happy over the need to be right. It created a new kind of momentum that fed on itself (in a good way).

And if someone else was not in a space to be uplifted (as I wasn’t at the end of last year), I didn’t take it personally. It wasn’t my job to fix them. Being uplifting isn’t about providing the answer or giving advice.

Being uplifting isn’t just about saying nice things to people either. It’s about paying attention to others and their own fears, wants, and needs. It’s about being conscious in and of the world. It’s about giving people space and taking care of each other and being of service. It’s about affirmation. It’s about intention.

Now, as I go about my day, when I catch myself in a small moment of pettiness or jealousy, I envision myself being an agent of UPLIFT. I envision our communal star-ness, together in the bright sky.

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*in defence of “lowly worms” – I love worms. I help them across the sidewalk. I relocate them when I’m weeding. I mourn them when they are squished.

YOUR WORKOUT

In our fiction, it’s necessary to be mean to our protagonists. I always tell my students, Don’t be nice to your characters! Turn up the heat! Give them painful challenges! Make life hard! Pile it on!

I rarely talk about the moments that shine a little light on them. But, at some point in the story, I think a little uplift is in order.

By uplift I don’t mean everything solved in a grand deus ex machina moment, but something beautiful and meaningful and a bit more subtle.

When your character is at their lowest, when they’ve failed and failed and failed some more, when they have been beaten by the blows of life (or even the physical blows of bullies) it’s time to allow something to give. And if done well, it will break your reader’s hearts just a little.

It could be a memory. It could be a small act of kindness. It could be embodied in an invaluable object they take with them along their journey. Imaging in the movie version of it, the music turns melancholy, and a sense of hope or determination pierces the gloom.

 

Write without too much thinking, without stopping, and without rereading & editing

Start with any of the lines below (or all!) and keep writing for 7-10 minutes.

The most precious object in my protagonist’s life is . . . 

The voice in my protagonist’s head that gives him/her hope sounds like . . .

The kind gesture that comes when my protagonist least expects it happens when . . .

 

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This Space for Rent

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Moving Stats:

two cuts
six bruises
a round of kidney stones
two head/chest colds
an ear infection
one bookshelf dropped on head

~     ~     ~

Despite the physical ailments, the renters who flaked out on us TWO DAYS before we were to move, and the ferry schedule to get the Uhaul to the Sunshine Coast and back in one day, we have done it!

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We have moved to a greener, slower, more remote location. And I already love it, even though it has been nothing but grey, and I am surrounded by unpacked boxes and unorganized kitchenware. I love the quiet growing of our surroundings. I love the nestiness of our new space.

It is much smaller, alas, so the Den of Destiny is no more, but I have found a fabulous new cafe that opens early. I have decided it is my new office:

 

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I’m far too mind-fuddled to write a truly original post today. But wanted to share that I have a story on QuarterReads called “Second Lives” (which I suppose you could call a literary memoir or prose poem or poetic memoir) about my father’s passing.

Wait, you haven’t heard of QuarterReads?

It’s a very clever site. Writers submit stories for online publication and readers pay .25 to read them. Writers get 88% of earnings and 100% of “tips” – which readers give if they really like the piece and are feeling generous. I don’t think anyone’s getting rich through the site, but it’s a lovely way to get a story out there and make new fans.

And also…

… as a bonus, I wanted to share one of my favourite reads this week:

From Maria Popova’s fantastically engaging website Brain Pickings:

What it Really Takes to be an Artist: MacArthur Genius Teresita Fernandez’s Magnificent Commencement Address.

Audio version of Fernandez’s whole commencement address may be found here.

Our ideas regarding success should be our own, and I urge you to pursue it simultaneously from both the inside and the outside…

 

As artists, it will be especially difficult to measure these ideas of what success may be because you have chosen a practice that is entirely dependent on being willing to possibly fail, over and over again regardless of any successes that do come your way.

~Teresita Fernandez

 

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Poetry, Prose, and Purpose: an Interview

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A few months ago I was interviewed not only by March Twisdale of Poetry, Prose, and Purpose (aired on Voice of Vashon) I was also interviewed by her 12 year old son, who had just read the first three books in my White Forest series.

The interview is now officially posted online for listening!

Poetry Prose Purpose
March Twisdale and Danika Dinsmore

 

It’s lovely. March is a fantastic interviewer and adds much to the discussion. But it’s long interview, over an hour, and we’re all so busy these days. So, I created a handy-dandy Table of Contents for the Interview so as you’re listening, you can just click to the part that piques your interest.

** TEACHERS, LIBRARIANS, and other EDUCATORS:  there’s a portion about what I do in the schools that begins around 45 minutes in. 🙂 **

If you’re like me, I like to listen to interviews while I’m cooking or baking or cleaning up from cooking or baking. I’ve added two links below to the items I made while listening to this interview.

 

TOC to Poetry, Prose, and Purpose INTERVIEW 
with Danika Dinsmore

00:00 Mini Introduction to Poetry, Prose, and Purpose

01:26 (“sneaky” part of interview) a sound check and casual chat with Jordy (12) & Danika about her White Forest series (SPOILER ALERT – do not listen to this portion if you want to avoid some major spoilers from Books 2 and 3)

12:45 Official Introduction to the show, to March’s son Jordy, and to how March met Danika

14:40 Jordy’s official interview with Danika begins

15:15 Danika talks about Book Four (Fall 2015) and the remainder of the White Forest series

17:00 How parent/kid focus groups are helpful for writers

18:00 Discussion of Book Two and the Ancient’s plan for uniting the world

20:00 Discussion of how the series might appeal to a boy audience

21:25 Interview with March begins: The adult writer/reader perspective and significance of children’s literature

24:50 Significance of science fiction and other speculative fiction in young adult literature

28:52 Discussion around themes in Danika’s fantasy series and other children’s books

38:25 Discussion around the Power of Story

41:15 Danika’s new work in progress: YA contemporary (The Perks of Being a Wallflower for queer girls)

45:38 Danika’s work in the schools and inspirational writing exercises

51:50 Danika reads an excerpt from Book One

01:03:25 Final question: In a world filled with “bad” news, what message of HOPE would you like to leave readers and listeners?

~   ~   ~

Recommended things to cook while listening:

Pumpkin Apple Curry Soup (This is some seriously good soup)

Hemp Heart Breakfast Cookies (I used hemp hearts, coconut, and raisons for my “extras”)

For more health-conscious recipes, check out my Sweetwood Cookbook collection on my Pinterest Page

 

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What do Your Stories Reflect?

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The test of a book’s quality is not if it reflects my life, but if it reflects yours. ~E. L. Doctorow

I came across this quote this week and fell immediately in love with it. How very true that if readers cannot connect with our story, if they don’t see some of themselves in it, then it will fall flat. I’m having this issue with the book I’m currently reading, because I can’t relate at all to the protagonist or his life (though I’m sure someone might). And even though the author is clever and writes interesting dialogue that has made me laugh out loud on several occasions, I still can’t get into the story. I just don’t care.

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by Gizem Vural

I think the same sentiment could be used for social media, and blogging in particular. Facts, laundry lists, announcements, proclamations are sometimes useful, but if you neglect the human story, people might lose interest. As humans we want to be drawn in and made to feel something.

I heard a writer on a panel say nothing bored her more than writers who blogged about their writing process (which is hi-la-ri-ous, because I’ve been asked to partake in a blog hop about my writing process). I agree with her to a point. If all a blogger writes about her progress like a report or her process just as a process itself, yes, that can get dull. But great bloggers manage to weave process into story and give us a glimpse of life. An example might be Libba Bray’s moving blog post about depression (which is definitely part of the process for many writers).

Other blogging writers who manage to weave story into posts about their writing are Kelly Barnhill, Kate Johnston, and Jennifer D. Munro. And you don’t have to be a “writer” to do this. One of my favourite posts ever (I’ll link it up here if I can find it again!) was on a cooking blog where the blogger told a beautiful and funny story about being really tired before she posted her recipe. There are also folks I call professional bloggers who tell great life stories, like Wait, But Why and Hyperbole-and-a-Half

I think this is one reason I blog so sporadically. Unless it’s an announcement or giveaway or straight forward like that, I want the post to tell a story. I don’t want every post to be an announcement or report or process play-by-play. Luckily, the blogging world has become far more accepting of the once-per-week post. Appreciates it, even, because there are so, so, so many of us out there.

Are there any inspiring blogger/storytellers you read often? Please share!

 

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Being Writerly (You’re Doing It)

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Dreams of our Future Happy Selves are funny things. I’ve discovered how we can be blinded by the dream, and not recognize it when it’s right in front of us. That’s because it doesn’t usually look like the image held in our minds, where it is we make up what it must be like to have “that life.”

 

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artwork by Michael V Malano

 

Last year I was in the middle of a writing life grumble (an unhappy place, but not as intense as a full on depression*). I had made progress, but I certainly wasn’t having the glamorous writing life I’d imagined.

On a whim, I sat down and made a list of what I did with my time. And what do you know… it consisted of reading, writing, story editing, blogging, attending writing group, attending conferences, contacting schools, marketing myself, social networking, sending out proposals for conferences and grants, conversing with writers on list-serves… in other words, I WAS DOING IT!

Holy cow. I was living a writer’s life… really? But, but, but… what about the Dream?

I have been surrounded by writers of all kinds (from experimental performance poets to picture book authors) for the past 20 years. And granted, a few of them are rock stars who have major awards and sales and movie deals and live in two countries and have fans all over the world. But the truth (and the secret) is that the majority of them struggle to organize their time and pay the mortgage (or rent).

The majority of them send out proposals and grants and queries (and get rejections for proposals and grants and queries). They find creative ways of making money (or soul-sucking ways of making money that leave them close to suicidal). Life is never exactly where they want it to be, they lose hours of writing time to other things, they get down and sometimes have to drag themselves to their desks…

There are high highs and low lows. A call from an agent sends them through the roof. They’re on cloud nine. Three days later they’re swimming in rejections or bad reviews or a mess of grant paperwork.

In one day recently I went from a fantastic visit with 120 elementary school students to a rejection letter and a technical glitch that ate up hours of my time. I’ve driven books to schools, sent hordes of individual emails to potential reviewers, set up booths for festival events, and rewritten one of my query letters sixteen times – and none of it felt glamorous at the time, because really, it’s not.

And that’s what I’m telling you. The writing life (or whatever other creative life you have in mind) is not really all that glamorous.

But, that doesn’t mean it can’t be fulfilling, engaging, enriching, joyful, and extremely rewarding.

Several years ago, after “coming close” (yet again) to some screenplay funding, but not getting it, I told a friend of mine I was going to throw in the towel. That’s it. I’m finished being a writer.

She laughed and said to me, “Oh yeah? What else are you gonna do?”

“Good point,” I responded. I really didn’t want to do anything else. So I decided to embrace it instead.

These days I like to remind myself as much as possible that THIS IS WHAT WRITERS DO! I’M DOING IT!

And this serves, more often than not, to make me grateful and joyful and much more satisfied with where I am instead of pining over some future happiness. And now when I’m at my computer spinning tales, I’m fully immersed in my experience, because I decided my purpose is to enjoy my creative life whatever that looks like.

Do I want to be a rock star writer? Of course. But, in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy myself in the here and now.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

For the next 7 days: every time you start to disparage about how you are not making it as a writer (or artist or singer or whatever), tell yourself, “I love my writing/singing/acting life! Here I am doing my writerly/singerly/actorly things.”

If you want to get really fun with this idea, apply this thought to EVERYTHING you do. While you’re riding your bike think, “Here I am, the writer riding her bike to the store.” or “I love being a writer shopping for groceries.”

Seriously. Because all those writers, actors, singers, etc you admire happen to also shop for groceries, get their cars fixed, and take their pets to the vet.

Yes, it might seem silly to think these thoughts at first, but I guarantee it will put a smile on your face.

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*If you are past the point of grumble and are in full on depression, here is a brilliant and realistic blog post author Libba Bray wrote about depression

Writing Life: Present Beauty

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A fellow poet once said to me that he admired another poet friend of ours, because he genuinely lived his life, and looked at life, through the eyes of a poet. Which means, he stayed in the present. Writing (and other art forms) focuses us in on the present moment.

As human beings out in the world, though, we are often inside of our heads, fretting about the past or future, rather than where we are right in the moment. I’ve been in the practice lately of trying to catch myself when I am not present, when my thoughts have carried me elsewhere. I stop and look around the room or bus or sidewalk at the other people to see where they are. I note what’s around me. The colours and shadows, the expressions and tones, the way someone moves, or how they’ve dressed. I notice what the birds are doing. And what kids are up to.

Sometimes we don’t have 2 hours, or even 1 hour, to write in a day. But we can still create in these fleeting moments. We can still make stories up, collect images, notice shapes and sounds and conversations. We can use all the time we are not writing as “research.”

Every time I walk through the cemetery, I notice the tree that looks like a wolf. Some day, that tree is going to end up in a story or poem of mine.

So, while standing in line at Starbucks, stop drafting that email in your head and look around you. There’s a little girl licking the whipped cream out of a mug while her mother yells into her cell phone. Someone is painting christmas stockings on the window and it’s not even Thanskgiving. The elderly lady in line speaks with an Eastern European accent and has a rebellious streak of pink in her hair.

All of these are useful beautiful moments. All of these make life’s background fuller and richer. They are life images you can glean from as an observer and recorder of life.

My WEEKEND WORKOUT this Friday will be about using these present images in a written piece. So, notice as much as possible this week. Not only will it keep you out of your head and in the present moment, it will be a creative database for later use.